Christopher Carter: A Good Life
by Laurie Goodman, Guest Blogger
Growing up on Cape Cod, Chris led a sheltered life – “a good life,” he says, as the only child of a single mother. He comes from Native American heritage and was active in Wampanoag tribe spiritual and cultural events. He was also raised a Christian and attended Sunday School. From a young age, Chris’s mother instilled in him a strong work ethic. He earned excellent grades in school and graduated top of his class. He played clarinet and saxophone in an award-winning All-State band, and other bands. His dream was to be a meteorologist, and he got first-hand experience as a weatherman on his high school’s TV channel.
Chris applied to seven colleges to study Meteorology and was accepted at every one. Due to financial constraints he chose to go to college locally at the University of Massachusetts, Lowell. While still in high school, the university invited him to join their band as a freshman and attend band camp the summer before his first semester. This is where his life took an unexpected wrong turn.
“At Band Camp, close to my 18th birthday, I experienced my first drink, my first ‘drunk,’ and first blackout, all on the same day. After consuming tequila and beer, it felt like an out of body experience, feeling the numbness and seeing my actions but not being able to control them. This is what I consider to be the start of my 29-year struggle with alcoholism.”
He began drinking regularly in college with his band buddies. At first, it was just weekends, but as his circle of friends grew, so did his drinking. Surprisingly, this did not keep him from actively participating in college life. In addition to the bands, he joined the Air Force ROTC, became a residential advisor, senator in student government, campus guide and guard. He was a DJ on the campus radio station.
Chris also joined a fraternity.
“I consider my very first drink the start of my problem drinking, but it really took off when I joined the fraternity. There was beer on tap seven days a week, and my drinking became a daily routine, cutting into my study time.”
Through his participation in ROTC, Chris had a guaranteed Air Force officer’s slot waiting for him when he graduated college as a meteorologist. Fate intervened, and this offer was withdrawn when the Gulf War started. Chris left the ROTC program and changed his major four times. In 1994, when graduation time came around, Chris had enough credits, but not enough in any one major to graduate. He left the university.
Unsure of which direction to go, his mother, knowing his natural inclination to help people, suggested he become an EMT. He became a state certified EMT, putting him on a path that would direct his career to this day. He worked many years on the ambulance doing 9-1-1 work and completed an associate degree in Health Science from Granite State.
While working as an EMT, he drank after every shift with other public safety colleagues, including EMTs, paramedics, nurses, police officers and fire fighters.
“Alcoholism and drug addiction occur in all walks of life, including public safety. It had been for many years an unspoken demon in the industry and only recently has begun to be addressed and help offered to those who suffer.”
In 2000, to supplement his income, he became a bartender at a private club in Lowell. Because the bar allowed him to drink before, during and after his shift, this fueled Chris’ alcohol consumption. “When customers offered me shots, I was encouraged to accept, and I did.”
In 2001, Chris signed up for Paramedic school. He graduated in 2003 and became a non-invasive cardiac tech at Catholic Medical Center. After working there for several years, he went to work in the same role at St. Elizabeth’s Hospital in Boston. When this job ended due to budget cutbacks, he worked for a large ambulance provider as a 9-1-1 dispatcher and continued to do overtime shifts on the ambulance.
Chris and his fiancée married in 2003. His sons were born in 2004 and 2007. Chris’s drinking escalated during these years.
“At home, I was hiding my drinking. I would say I was going down to the basement to check email but I would chug cans of beer and hard liquor nips, then hide them in storage boxes and in my golf bag. My wife knew and urged me to stop.”
In 2005 Chris attempted to quit, not knowing how, other than to not drink. For a year he “white-knuckled” it, staying sober without the support and tools he would learn many years later.
As the one-year anniversary of his sobriety approached, he and his wife went to a wedding in Florida. He convinced her (and himself) that he now had his drinking under control, and he picked up drinking again at the wedding.
“I was excited to start drinking again.” This was the start of another 13-year run of alcohol abuse. He didn’t even try to quit during those years. “My drinking ruined my marriage, and we divorced in 2010.”
In June 2018, after working four years as a Certified Flight Communications Specialist for a critical care transport provider, his manager told him to resign and get help – his off-duty drinking was interfering with his work.
Chris’s rock bottom came in August of 2018.
“When I was drinking, I thought I was the best dad in the world. But when my sons were 11 and 14 they approached me and said that they didn’t like it when I drank and wanted me to quit. I realized only then that I hadn’t been there for them to the extent they needed me to be, and I wasn’t able to do certain things with them because I was drunk. I knew I had to change.
On August 20, 2018, after a final bender, Chris dropped off his apartment keys with his ex-wife and presented himself to a Safe Station at a Nashua Fire Station.
“After the intake and medical evaluation by the wonderful fire fighters of Nashua, I was immediately transferred to the Harbor Care Health and Wellness Center’s Respite Care Center to detox. My first full day sober was August 21, which happens to be my birthday. I have no doubt that the staff there saved my life. They were the most compassionate and caring people I have ever met.”
After Chris detoxed and was healthy enough to transfer, he moved into a High-Intensity Residential Rehabilitation Program at Harbor Care’s Keystone Hall. Chris credits Keystone Hall staff and programming for giving him the tools and confidence he needed to start putting his needs first. This meant self-care—mentally and physically and taking care of his surroundings.
“After starting my substance misuse just as I was coming of age, I essentially had to learn to live as an adult for the first time ever.” He attended Alcoholics Anonymous meetings every day and took classes that taught him how to manage a budget, save money, prioritize, keep a schedule, and follow through with his commitments.
“I took advantage of everything Keystone offered, as the fog cleared from my brain. I now knew I wasn’t alone and that there were many other people struggling, just like me. Help was here for me and with assistance and following a program, I finally believed I could live a successful, happy, substance free life.” For Chris, this meant choosing to stay on at Keystone Hall for several more months through its low-intensity residential program. “I knew I did not yet feel mentally ready to venture out into the world on my own. I continued to take full advantage of all opportunities offered to learn how to better take care of myself.”
On January 16, 2019 Chris graduated from Keystone Hall. He was unsure about living on his own and decided to move into a Rise Above Sober House in Nashua, where he continues to live now as a House Manager. He still comes to Harbor Care Health & Wellness Center for his medical care, where staff are happy to see him and often stop to chat when he comes in. He attends daily AA meetings and is active in the Nashua area recovery community as both an advisory board member for Revive Recovery and a volunteer for the NH State Alcoholics Anonymous Hotline.
“I am grateful to be able to give back what has freely been given to me by helping others on their road to recovery. A great amount of credit goes to my ex-wife for her unwavering support while I recovered, taking care of my sons, and bringing them for visits with me. And also, to my sons, who bravely intervened to show me the harm I was doing to myself and my family and set me on my own path to recovery.”
Soon he will be moving into a brand new 2-bedroom apartment where his boys will have a room to stay overnight. He hopes to pursue a Bachelor's in Public Safety Management. He works as a dispatcher for a local Municipal Fire Department, where he has earned the friendship and respect of his colleagues.
“I love my job. I’m smiling going to work and leaving for home every day because I know that I am helping people and doing vital work.”