From Hopeless to Hero: One Man’s Journey with Harbor Care and His Quest to Save Others
In the throes of a serious substance use disorder, U.S. Army Veteran Michael Whitehouse arrived on the steps of our Buckingham Place apartments filled with a sense of hopelessness. “I came into the program feeling broken in every way a man could be broken.” With the support of Harbor Care’s Veterans FIRST team, as well as his own determination and resilience, he found hope again, and he created a new life for himself and his children.
Michael Whitehouse (left) and his children.
The 37-year-old recently said, “I got hooked on bath salts – the drug, not the bath item – and lost everything: kids, job, relationships, etc. I went to the VA for help to get clean, and they sent me to the New Horizons shelter in Manchester; they, in turn, sent me to Buckingham once an apartment opened up. I had nothing but a backpack of clothes and a life of bad decisions.
“I believed I would die in the woods somewhere with a needle in my arm and welcomed that. I knew nothing but pain and suffering at that point. I hurt everyone that had ever cared about and loved me. I was going to use drugs for the rest of my useless life, and everyone would be better off without me, especially my children. Or so I thought,” he said.
Michael grew up in poverty in Rochester with a single mother and two siblings and suffered both physical and sexual abuse. “I went into my teenage years as a troublemaker, drinking and smoking at 13 and seeking ways to break the law.” He hoped joining the Army would provide structure and purpose to help him clean up his life. While he did find some new stability, he continued to struggle with alcohol, and after he left the service, he discovered bath salts.
“I remember sitting on a bathroom floor early in the morning, crying my eyes out, screaming inside my head that I wanted to stop, but watching my hands going against my will, pushing a needle into my arm. The next day I called DCYF (NH Division for Children, Youth and Families) and told them everything. They came and got my children, and I went to the VA and New Horizons,” he recalled.
“The staff at Buckingham was behind me every step of the way.”
And then to Harbor Care’s Buckingham Place: “I was somehow pulled out of the dark existence that I had created for myself. Buckingham gave me a safe, drug-free environment to stay during one of the hardest times of my life. I don't believe I could have stayed clean, worked on my mental health, or achieved the results I got if it weren't for the program and the caring, compassionate people in it. It introduced me to the concept of being in recovery vs being off drugs, which was a lesson that has been invaluable to me since.”
Part of his comfort came from being in an environment where everyone else was also a veteran, he said, and, “while I did relapse a few years later, the knowledge and experience I got at Buckingham gave me the confidence and willingness to come out of it again.”
He remembered, “I truly liked how things were not done for me, but instead my case manager and I talked through the problems, found solutions, and I was given the tools and positive encouragement to do things for myself. That was a turning point for me in that I had always had very low self-confidence and self-esteem. The staff at Buckingham was behind me every step of the way.”
While living at Buckingham for nearly two years, he was awarded full custody of one son; visitation rights with his other sons; a driver’s license and vehicle; and he started his own remodeling business through Harbor Care’s employment and job training program. He was also invited to speak with hundreds of judges, law enforcement officials, social workers, and child services workers to educate them about the addictive nature of bath salts.
Today Michael is a very busy, accomplished man – a volunteer for a nationwide sober-active organization; manager of a recovery home; sponsor to several men at Narcotics Anonymous; and a student, working to complete his Certified Recovery Support Worker accreditation. He’s been working in the drug treatment field for two months now.
Of his transition to the recovery field, he said, “I love being able to help people. It’s so important for people new in recovery, and even people still in active addiction, to know that they are not alone, and there is help out there. The staff's example at Buckingham was one of the first and biggest examples of how people with compassion and caring can make a huge difference in someone's life.”
“The feeling that I get when I help someone is indescribable. It's a combination of gratitude, love, compassion, pride for the person no matter how large or small the outcome. The message is always hope that nothing is beyond repair. Nothing is too big to overcome. Getting and staying clean is possible for every addict, everywhere,” he said.
He has a close relationship with his four boys, and he feels blessed that his six-year-old daughter does not remember his active addiction. “I'm able to attend to their needs, wants, football games, give them advice during their teenage years, and just be there for whatever they need. It all started by walking into the door at 46 Spring Street in Nashua, breaking down in tears, and having the support, then and there, to begin a new life.”
This month he’s looking forward to the holidays with his family: “The holidays are so special to me today. After years of active addiction and abandoning my family, missing holidays and birthdays, never being able to make the kids feel special, it's an amazing blessing to be able to do all of those things. Waking up on Christmas morning to the kids is something that, while it sometimes brings back old memories, still makes me feel so at peace and whole again.”